Sunday, 5 September 2010

Aashayein | आशाएं - dedicated to Pakistan's flood vicitms.




kacchi chaar deewarein theen
hara puta ek darwaaza tha
darwaaze ke peeche mera
chupa hua khazana tha
ek chota sa aala
meri saari daulat ka rakhwala tha
maa ka aakhiri khat
saat rupaye hafte ka kharch
doston ki amaanat
aur ek tabeez puarana tha!
us chaar deewari mein
mera ghar basta tha
shaam ko jab abba aate
mera dil khushi se hansta tha
wo har raat mujhe kuch kehte the
main unki baatein sunta tha!

ab har pal meri aankhon mein
unka saaya aata hai
par woh khaamosh hi rehte hain
na mujhko hansna aata hai!
kuch roz hue woh ghar mera
mujshe jaane kyun rooth gaya
aisa ek toofan aaya
mera ghar toot gaya

main tanhah nahi hun magar
mere jaise laakhon hain
jinke maa baap ki khabar nahi
ab bus unki baatein hain

ek raat jab main rone laga
abba ne samjhaya tha

"har raat ke baad savera hai
kaali raaton se mat darna
chaahe kitni tabahi ho
phir saahas se tum chalna
tinke tinke mein taakat hai
khud pe tum yakeen rakhna"

mujhko khud par hai maula
itna yakeen jitna tujh par
jo bhi hua ho jane de
waqt kabhi phir badlega
phir hoga ek ghar mera
phir honge hum sab kabiz
phir basenge shehar wahi
phir hogi dilon mein aashayein.
jo bhi hua ho jane de
waqt zaroor badlega!
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कच्ची चार दीवारें थीं
हरा पुता एक दरवाज़ा था
दरवाज़े के पीछे मेरा
छुपा हुआ खज़ाना था
एक छोटा सा आला
मेरी साड़ी दौलत का रखवाला था
माँ का आखिरी ख़त
सात रुपये हफ्ते का खर्च
दोस्तों की अमानत
और एक ताबीज़ पुँराना था

उस चार दीवारी में
मेरा घर बस्ता था
शाम को जब अब्बा आते
मेरा दिल ख़ुशी से हँसता था

अब हर पल मेरी आँखों में
उनका साया आता है
पर वो ख़ामोश ही रहते हैं
ना मुझको हँसना आता है
कुछ रोज़ हुए वो घर मेरा
मुझसे जाने क्यूँ रूठ गया
ऐसा एक तूफ़ान आया
मेरा घर टूट गया

मैं तनहाह नहीं हूँ मगर
मेरे जैसे लाखों हैं
जिनके माँ बाप की खबर नहीं
अब बस उनकी बातें हैं

एक रात जब मैं रोने लगा
अब्बा ने समझाया था

"हर रात के बाद सवेरा है
काली रातों से मत डरना
चाहे कितनी तबाही हो
फ़िर साहस से तुम चलना
तिनके तिनके में ताक़त है
खुद पे तुम यकीन रखना"

मुझको खुद पर है मौला
इतना यकीन जितना तुझ पर
जो भी हुआ हो जाने दे
वक़्त कभी फ़िर बदलेगा
फ़िर होगा एक घर मेरा
फ़िर होंगे हम सब काबिज़
फ़िर बसेंगे शहर वही
फ़िर होंगी दिलों में आशाएं
जो भी हुआ हो जाने दे
वक़्त ज़रूर बदलेगा!

Friday, 3 September 2010

Another World.

"We don't have money. Be it Sir or Madam, I can't give any money." she said recursively.

"But Maa, I need tuition.", justified Nitin. He did not know what more to say. "Its only hundred rupees Maa", he said after some thinking.

Mohanlal, Nitin's father was listening to this conversation sitting beside him. They lived in a small hut like structure on an empty plot on the other side of the gutter. The plot was the avenue which provided shelter to not just Mohanlal's family but five more families. Nitin was studying 2nd grade.

"We don't have hundred rupees." erupted Radhadevi suddenly. Radha was Ntin's mother. She has as much disgust and anger in her eyes as she was helpless. Neither could she convice her son nor she could get amount of hundred rupees every month. "Agar use padhane ka itna shauk hai to free mein padhaye warna nahi kara sakte hum tuition wution.", she told.

Mohanlal has been sitting and listening to all this without speaking a word. He seemed disturbed and yet relax at the same time. Although he seemed relax, actually if he was no more interested.

Nitin by the time all this happened has tore the button of his shirt in anger. He did not know what more to say. He repeated , " I want to study maa. Tuition is important for me." and he continued to repeat this.

On the other side of the gutter, behind a hand rickshaw sat a pale young man. As he kept eating the Chole Bhature sitting on the bench like structure besides the gutter, he looked already tensed due to the pricking sun rays. It was very hot. He had been hearing the conversation of the Mohanlal's family, while eating.

Just when he has finished his food, RadhaDevi asked, "Is it 2 p.m.?".

"Quarter to two." he replied and looked up. He saw Nitin and lowered his eyes. He paid for his meal and took way to his office which was on the next street.

He lit a cigarette as he started walking towards his office. He stopped at the corner. He looked back from behind the car at Nitin. Then his mother and father. He hid as if he was a culprit. He kept looking there with something in his mind. He was lost.

Suddenly his phone rang. He felt the vibration of the cellphone and picked up the phone. It was his wife. "How much he said." "Four thousand five hundred.", replied his wife. "Fine, I will just transfer the money" Aditya replied. She has to pay this amount at the beauty parlour per month to make her skin glow better. He started to move away towards his office after the conversation was over.

 For some reason he again got to hear in faint voice Nitin yelling at his mother, " Mujhko padhai karke kuch banna hai maa. "

 He thought of giving the fee to the child but for some reason hesitated. And started walking towards his office. "I can pay so much money to make my wife beautiful, but some people can't do even to educate. I wish to give them the fee but when I look around there are so many like them. May be this is why something is stopping me from helping.

I wish I could pay this much to make my country beautiful. " he thought as he vanished amongst the more of his kind into ANOTHER WORLD..

Monday, 2 August 2010

सवाल | sawaal

क्या असर तेरी दुआओं का हुआ
था मैं क्या और मैं क्या हुआ!

ऐसी मंजिलों का दिया रास्ता तूने
मैं कुछ नहीं से अब गुमशुदा हुआ!

जो ले लिया हसीं वादों के नाम पे तूने
क्या जाने मेरा वो वक़्त क्या हुआ!

किया तूने मेरा बहुत हाल-ए-ख़याल
क्या कहें बीमार का हाल क्या हुआ!

कहा तूने वहां है जन्नत राही
मैं खोजता हूँ वो मेरा घर, क्या हुआ!

क्यूँ हो गयी तू बेजवाब ज़िन्दगी
दिल का वो मासूम सवाल क्या हुआ!

था मैं क्या और क्या हुआ
क्या असर तेरी दुआओं का हुआ!

---------------------------------------------------------

kya asar teri duaon ka hua
tha main kya aur main kya hua!

aisi manzilon ka diya raasta tune
main kuch nahi se ab gumshuda hua!

jo le liya haseen wadon ke naam pe tune
kya jane mera woh waqt kya hua!

kiya tune mera bahut haal-e-khayal
kya kahein beemar ka haal kya hua!

kaha tune wahan hai jannat raahi
main khojta hun ab woh mera ghar, kya hua!

kyun ho gayi tu bejawab zindagi
dil ka woh masoom sawal kya hua!

tha main kya aur main kya hua..

Thursday, 29 July 2010

शहर | shehar

सर-ए-साल है खिज़ां* अब ज़माने में
रोज़ आतिश बरसते हैं आसमानों से!

वो बात और है, उठता है धुआं रातों में
मगर चूल्हे नहीं जलते अब आशियानों में!

हमें गुरूर है, अपनी अपनी कारोबारी पे
चले हैं बेचने खुदको, भरे बाज़ारों में!

अब जुदा रूह है राही, यहाँ इंसानों से
झुके हुए हैं सभी सिर, शहर-ओ-शमशानों में!

सर-ए-साल है खिज़ां अब ज़माने में

रोज़ आतिश बरसते हैं आसमानों से!

*खिज़ां/khizan - rainy season/ season between summer and winters.
-------------------------------------------------------------
 
sar-e-saal hai khizan ab zamane mein
roz aatish baraste hain aasmaanon se !
 
wo baat aur hai, uthta hai dhuan raaton mein
magar choolhe nahi jalte ab aashiyanon mein!
 
humein guroor hai, apni apni kaarobaari pe
chale hain bechne khudko, bhare bazaron mein!
 
ab juda rooh hai raahi, yahan insaanon se
jhuke hue hain sabhi sir, shehar-o-shamshaanon mein !

sar-e-saal hai khizan ab zamane mein

roz aatish baraste hain aasmaanon se !



Thursday, 22 July 2010

Ghazal | ग़ज़ल

तेरी आँखों में बसे ख्वाब में देखा मैंने
वो आशियाँ नाकाबिज़ सरे तूफानों में !!

बंद होठों में दबी बेबसी सुनी मैंने
सुर्ख लब-ए-ख़ामोश के अफसानों में !!

सूखें अश्कों में लिखे ख़त को पढ़ा मैंने
अब मोहब्बत ना मुकम्मल इस ज़माने में !!

तेरे सजदे में झुका सिर की दुआ मैंने
ऐ खुदाया मांगे 'राही' मदद मर जाने में !!

वो आशियाँ नाकाबिज़ सरे तूफानों में !!
---------------------------------------------------------------------

teri aankhon mein base khwab mein dekha maine
wo aashiyan naa kabiz sare toofanon mein!

band hothon mein dabi bebasi suni maine
surkh lab-e-khamosh ke afsaanon mein!

sookhe ashkon mein likhe khat ko padha maine
ab mohabbat na mukammal is zamane mein!

tere sajde mein jhuka sir kee dua maine
ae khudaya maange 'raahi' madad mar jaane mein!!

ae khudaya maange 'raahi' madad mar jaane mein!!

Monday, 12 July 2010

Awarigi | आवारगी

बेफिक्री मेरी, मेरा अंदाज़-ए-ज़िन्दगी है
हर कदम कदम पे रुकना, आदत मेरी नहीं है!

बेखौफ घूमता है, बंदिशों के पुराने शहर में
ना गवार इस जहाँ को, सूरत कोई नयी है!

बेधड़क जलना ही, ख्वाब-ए-जुनुनियत है
वो आग ना बुझेगी, दिल में जो लगी है!

महफ़िल-ओ-मंजिल में वो बात नहीं है
आवारगी 'राही', तेरी राह यही है!

--------------------------------------------------------------

befikri meri, mera andaaz-e-zindagi hai
har kadam kadam pe rukna, aadat meri nahi hai!

bekhauf ghoomta hai, bandishon ke purane shehar mein
na gawar is jahan ko, soorat koi nayi hai!

bedhadak jalna hi, khwab-e-jununiyat hai
wo aag na bujhegi, dil mein jo lagi hai!

mehfil-o-manzil mein woh baat nahi hai
awaargi 'Raahi', teri raah yahi hai!

The Prize so Big!

As seventy million people watched on Television and more than eighty thousand found a place for themselves in the City of Light Stadium, Johanesbourg, RSA to reveal who's gonna be the new World Champions,  14 yellow cards and not so interesting game was produced by the teams competiting for the title.

I hoped for a better contest and an entertaining display. I was not let to be disappointed by the goalkeepers. Both Casillas and Stekelenburg were superb. Now I am not writing a full report here, that you may read on soccernet.com. Well, I just felt that the Prize is so Big that the sport is let down sometimes. Sports is not only about winning. Its about playing. Its about playing well and winning. When I feel about the match previous night, Uruguay v Germany, it was a much more entertaining and spectacular match. No doubt, they were both losers of the semifinals but they produced a blistering contest. As good as the last kick of the match by Diego Forlan could have changed it.

So much is the influence of the prize and the occasion that the game was rash and hurting. I felt the football used to be much more innocent and it is not now. The influence on refree can also be seen. Though Webb did a great job producing 14  yellow cards including that second yellow of Hietenga to send him off, he missed when Puyol tugged Robben's shirt and put a hand around him. Robben was booked for dissent though.

The dutch missed their attacking stint as it has been through out the tournament. Spain also were not the self, let alone Iniesta. He was the top player on the pitch, but remember the incident when he got up after not getting a foul and hit the oppositions captain. Where did the sporting spirit go?

What ever, Spain won it! and may be they deserved it also. The fiesta de futbol is over now and its time when we change our channels again towards cricket.

Let out the sporting spirit and the stylish play go for a walk in the park. After all The Prize is so Big and Iniesta has won it. :)

PS: This is the reason why South American team's have been loved for they haven't yet given their style of play. Probably this is the reason why Dunga was criticised by  his countrymen so much.
Keep up your spirits. Seasons about to begin in months time :)

Saturday, 10 July 2010

The Wall

We live in free India. We live in free World. Freedom is the birthright of every human. Nature made us to be free, but are we? When I read of seven murders in the capital today, I feel sad. I feel insecure for self, friends, family and others. Seven murders in a day. People are being killed in the posh societies. People being killed in the open markets. As I read through the paper and discussed with the friends, some blamed police and some destiny.

It is amazing how, when we proclaim self to be free we still are blaming our destiny and others. In the times where technology has gone from good to better and tending towards the best now, are these killings accepted? We live in a Hi-Tech world where the societies, the cars and the houses have powerful security systems. There have been many  developments in this regard and the researchers are still working on it. Why are these crimes so easy to commit?

Just like to curb these crimes there are various other kinds of discomforts which our society is plagued of. We find many easy things difficult today. When our economy has grown strong and technology has led the path for past decades, bringing up children has never been so tough. This is what I have heard from IT experts, school teachers and corporate executives of late. Well I guess bringing up child was always easier than today. Wasn't it? It is easier to reach moon today than to walk to a store 500 meters from the parking spot. Walking was an implicit and easiest of activities which all the animals(which they can still do) and human race has been doing. It is easier for us to reach Banglore in less time from Delhi in a flight and we praise it, but in our natural activities we have gone so slow that we can not lend an helping hand in that time and we keep thinking.

I am amazed how technology has changed our lives. It ought to make our lives better. Has it really done. It was to help us to be more comfortable and free. Are we so free in our minds? Are we comfortable letting our family  members travel alone to someplace at nights. Are we comfortable walking down the third lane to help our neighbours. (In today's urban scenario, third lane person is never a neighbour by long). Are we comfortable when we are out and the ladies or oldies in our  home have to stay alone? No, is the answer. Then how did technology (AC, refrigerators, Hi Tech Security ... ) help us?

These were the solutions we the humans tried to provide to solve the problems which are mentioned above and likewise. But we aren't successful enough yet. Did we miss something? If Yes is the answer then what?
We have built transparent walls around us. We are not free. We do not welcome our guests at our door shouting out loudly in happiness. We welcome them, by a question from security guard " Hey where do wanna go? You can;t enter ." Is this the way our culture treats the guest.

We feel we are free but somewhere we are slaves of technology. We are so dependent on it. We missed the long term solution by opening out our hearts and mind to and for the people. May be if that might have been the case, we would not have needed the technology to secure us. After all humans think and feel. We should have trusted ourselves more than the technology.

That is why Gandhi , Lincon and Mandela were  more successful than Hitler, Napolean, Che, Azad and Laxmi Bai. They believed in improving themselves and humans while the latter in technology. Sounds weird but they used technology by developing guns weapons. The intentions were both the same. We have missed what Gandhi taught. I wish we can retrieve that freedom back, after all we want to be free. Lets break the Wall we have created around us, the Wall which can't be seen but can be felt.

PS: What's the point in going to moon if you are lazy enough not to go to the neighbours house and say kind words.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Maestros Del Disfraz | Masters of Disguise

I walked up the stairs of the auditorium, and then I walked down with a confident smile to approach the stage. The walk down was not satisfactory. Again I went to the last row of seats, took a deep breath closing my eyes simultaneously trying to imagine how it would be to walk down while the full house applauding my achievements, and I starting walking down again.
On every step that lead me to the stage, I remembered the ladder I have moved up so quickly. The ladder of success. I was to get the DreamPerformer Award from my company's chairman. This was the first of its kind. The award was specially being given to me as I have won five Performer of the Year awards in continuation. I was thrilled. I remembered my first award and the bounce in my career, my salary and perks. I was so happy. I texted my best friend Afzal, " My all the hard work and sacrifice paid off. I won it.". "Congrats." was the obvious reply.
Afzal was a simple person. He was one of the best students in our batch of MBA. Everyone thought he would be one of the best entrepreneurs. He left his job and went back to his hometown. I always thought as everybody thought there was some problem with his attitude.
Thinking about all the awards I won I got the style and the smile I wanted. I moved to the podium and posed to deliver a speech, that I had to the next day. Ah! I forgot I had to prepare a speech. Well after all I was sincere about my work and I just missed writing it.
I called Afzal. He was a very good writer. He rarely published his works but I always got to read them in college and he still mailed them to me though I rarely got time to read them in work. " He can help me prepare the best speech for such an overwhelming occasion.", I thought.

"Salaam Azhar bhai ", he said as he picked up my call. I was lucky to find his outdated, low battery mobile phone switched on.
"Salaam", I replied.
"Nervous about tomorrow again?", he questioned sarcastically.
"Yep, a bit", I answered.
"Ab to paanch saal ho gaye award lete lete .... ", he laughed. " Kahiye kaise yaad kiya aaj ?"
"Actually I forgot to write my speech for tomorrow and thought since this one is most special. You know what I have left for this and what all I have done, so I was thinking if you could write one for me.", I asked.
"Surely, but I will write only truth.", he said.
"No  problem" I said jubilantly.
" OK then, I will mail it to you by midday tomorrow. ", he asserted.
"Thanks , Bye".
"Bye." he said and disconnected.

I felt a sigh of relief and went to sleep feeling nervous about the next day and waiting for the speech. I have to read it at least twice I thought. 

Next day noon when I opened my mailbox I read the mail.

Dear Azhar,

Below is your speech. I wrote what you would have thought if you would have really thought without targeting the audience. I hope this will help you.

" "The achievement of one goal should be the starting point of another." The quote summarises my past five years in the industry. After winning one, two, three, four and now five awards, I start for another right from now. I feel happy and proud to stand here in front of you all once again and let you know the way I have reached here.

When I was a kid I always wanted to be a football player. I setup my goal in my mind that I will become a footballer. I started playing football in the academy in my town. I achieved my goal that I wanted to be a footballer and then I stared with the next. I wanted to be a forward. I always wanted to strike goals and then more goals.
In my college days I lead my University team to the finals of All India University Soccer championships. I felt that I will one day become a professional club player. I was very happy. I dreamt of playing for the national team. My friends encouraged me and told me that I am more than capable. I started dreaming more.

I was a very honest and sensitive person. I could never hurt any one. I was popular among friends for my nature. I never ignored them. I took care of my family. These were my strengths. My culture was my strength.


I was very confident, calm and thinking person. I liked reading. I liked responding too. I was in control of my life. Very much in control as I ran it.

After my University, I got a job here. I was so happy. So happy to lose control, lose control over my life. Gradually I started compromising. I compromised with my happiness. I was happy to be happy once a year while winning the award.

Did I win them?  or did I buy them? I bought them for the price of my happiness. They cost me sacrificing my dreams to play soccer and become a professional player because that was hard and I did not want less money. I gave in to the glamour and modern life compromising with my culture. I started ignoring my friends, family. I was no more sensitive. Initially and even today I am envious of those who play soccer and are happy in a meagre amount salary.

I have five awards, and two mercs but I miss soccer. So if you want to be here,  you will not only have to win it but buy it through your sacrifices. I didn't care to apologize to the people I have hurt during these 5 years.

Today I stand here, having sold all the strengths I had for these awards thinking the purpose behind what all I did? I am a pretence to my self, that I liked this and to others.

"Definiteness of purpose with positive mental attitude is the starting point of all worthwhile achievement." as once Napolean said. I still search for that purpose and the purpose is still missing. Alas! I have also sold the strengths I had.

"
Give it a thought how much we pretend to be what we are not than what we are? How much have you been disguising yourself under the face of these awards for five years and trying not to show the agony of not fulfilling your dream.
Its not just you. There are many you sitting there in the audience. The world we live in today is full of pretence and we are Masters of Disguise, as good as we can disguise to ourselves also. Hope you will help many others along with yourself.

Take cares
Afzal

Its been ten hours since I read the email first and today I am sitting alone in my study with my MacBook scrolling all the emails. I find Afzal has regularly written to me, where I was heading to and why he took his path to writing. I never checked my college time email without valuing his writings always having an excuse of being busy. I never gave him my professional email address but for today when I needed his help. He is doing  a good job and is very happy guiding people to happiness by giving them confidence that they will be happy if they really do what they want.

I didn't go to the award function. " How well does he know me?", I ask my self. More than I do is the answer. He really is my best friend. We are all really the Maestros Del Disfraz. Aren't we?

Sunday, 20 June 2010

ग़ज़ल | Ghazal - Khushi

कितने तुम खुदगर्ज़ राही, नामुकम्मल हसरतें तो
नाख़ुदा तो नाख़ुदा था, अब ख़ुदा भी कुछ नहीं !!

तुमने क्या खुदको दिया, जो उठ गया दस्त-ए-दुआ
उम्र भर सज़दा किया, पर कोई ज़हमत ना करी !!

क्यूँ करे शिकवा गिला, खींचले लकीरें नयी
तेरी ही तो हाथ में, तकदीर लिखी है तेरी !!

दर्द से ना भाग राही, तूफ़ान दिल में बाँध लो
दर्द-ओ-ग़म, रंज-ओ-गुस्सा, मंजिल-ए-राहें सभी !!

चराग लेकर फ़िर रहे, तुम जहाँ में खोजते हो
अपने अन्दर झाँक लो, तुम में ही है वो ख़ुशी !!

तेरे ही तो हाथ  में, तकदीर लिखी है तेरी !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

kitne tum khudgarz raahi, namukammal hasratein to
nakhuda to nakhuda tha, ab khuda bhi kuch nahi !!

tumne kya khudko diya, jo uth gaya dast-e-dua
umr bhar sajda kiya, par koi zehmat na kari !!

kyun kare shikwa gila, kheenchle lakeerein nayi
tere hi toh haath mein, taqdeer likhi hai teri !!

dard se na bhaag raahi, toofan dil mein baandh lo
dard-o-gham,ranj-o-gussa, manzil-e-raahein sabhi !!

charag lekar phir rahe, tum jahan mein khojte ho
apne andar jhaank lo, tum mein hi hai woh khushi !!

tere hi toh haath mein, taqdeer likhi hai teri !

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Who was that my once long time friend?

He looked at the clear sky, amidst the grey smoke. As the smoke rose and tried to near the night sky, the smoke from his lips could only be lost. One by one , the cigarettes kept coming out and turned into ash. There lay three empty, one half empty and another two red coloured shining boxes of Classic Regular, the brand he loved.

He was proud of the stock he had. One might have thought, he has it covered for two weeks, but he brought it for this night. He was trying something. He wanted to do something which he was failing at constantly. He was sad. He was very sad. He cried. Something was missing though. He didn't have a drop of tear in his eyes.

He wondered, Why?. He was trying to wet his eyes and show the sleeping world that how sad he was, but with no success. He missed someone. Someone who has abused him. Someone who has insulted him. Someone who embarrassed him for his truthfulness.

As he continued to smoke, and the smoke continued to be lost in the dark sky. He was lost in still darker memories. The half filled and the flashy packets were now empty. There was no smoke now, and the world was absolutely silent. Everything was so still.

A small drop of tear filled his eyes. He wondered "Who was that my once long time friend?".



Thursday, 29 April 2010

Zindagi | ज़िन्दगी :)

Used this poem in one the short stories. Completed it. Modified and writing it down :) (हिंदी में पहले और english is followed .)

ओ ज़िन्दगी इस दिल तले, सवाल हैं कई अनकहे
जवाब तेरे पास हैं, पर वक़्त कि दरकार है
एक लम्हा भी मिले, तुझसे मैं ये पूछ्लूं
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

कोई क्या सिखाएगा, कोई क्या बताएगा
क्या किताबों का लिखा , कोई साथ लेकर जायेगा
एक कदम जो तू चले, तेरे साथ मैं चलूँ
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

एक पल मैं हंसा, एक पल मैं रो लिया
कुछ पलों का साथ था, और फिर तनहाइयाँ
कोई भी ऐहसास हो, तुझसे मेरी गुफ्तगू
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

ता उम्र मैं दौड़ा किया, चाँद सिक्कों के लिए
कुछ यूँ हुआ वोह मिल गया, जाने क्या मेरा खो गया
अब तेरी तलाश में, हूँ भटकता कू-ब-कू
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

अब कहाँ ये दिल मेरा, ख्वाब कोई देखता
अब कहाँ नज़रें मेरीं, आसमा को ताकतीं
कुछ मिले या न मिले, बस जानने की आरज़ू
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

है मोड़ फिर एक नया, अब मौत मेरी हमसफ़र
पर चलेगा रास्ता, और चलता जायेगा
होगा नयी राह में, 'राही' तुझसे रू-ब-रू
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!
तू कौन है, मैं कौन हूँ!

english :

o zindagi is dil tale , sawaal hain kai ankahe
jawab tere pass hain, bus waqt ki darkaar hai
ek lamha bhi mile, tujhse main ye poochlun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
tu kaun hai , main kaun hun!

koi kya sikhayega, koi kya batayega
kya kitabon ka likha, koi saath lekar jayega
ek kadam jo tu chale, tere saath main chalun
tu kaun hai , main kaun hun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun!

ek pal main hans liya, ek pal main ro liya
chand palon ka saath tha, aur phir tanhaiyan
koi bhi ehsaas ho, tujhse meri guftagoo
tu kaun hai , main kaun hun
tu kaun hai , main kaun hun!

ta umr main dauda kiya, chand sikkon ke liye
kuch yun hua woh mil gaya, kya jaane mera kho gaya
ab teri talash mein, hun bhatakta ku-ba-ku
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun!

ab kahan ye dil mera, khwab koi dekhta
ab kahan nazrein meri, aasmaa ko taakteen
kuch mile ya na mile, bus jaanne ki aarzoo
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun!

hai modd phir ek naya, ab maut meri humsafar
par chalega raasta, aur chalta jayega
hoga nayi raah mein, 'raahi' tujhse roobaroo
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun!

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

tera saath | तेरा साथ :)


 एक किनारा, एक लहर
एक ही माझी मिल जाता
हाथ बढाया था मैंने
ऐ काश वो तारा मिल जाता !

दूर नहीं है वो मुझसे
मुझको अब भी दिखता है
पा लेता उसको मैं शायद
कोई बढ़ावा मिल जाता
हाथ बढाया था मैंने
ऐ काश वो तारा मिल जाता!

था खाली ही जब घर मेरा
खाली खाली हर मंजिल
एक नगर , और एक डगर
कैसे 'राही' थम जाता
हाथ बढाया था मैंने
ऐ काश वो तारा मिल जाता!

हूँ आवारा मैं तो क्या
वो तारा भी आवारा है
जिस शब्-ए-महफ़िल में मैं बैठूं
मुझपे हंसने आ जाता
हाथ बढाया था मैंने
ऐ काश वो तारा मिल जाता!

बचपन में थी बात सुनी
वो तारा हर शब् गिरता है
मिल जाता जो साथ तेरा
तेरे दामन में गिर जाता
वो तारा मुझको मिल जाता
तेरे दामन में गिर जाता
वो तारा मुझको मिल जाता

हाथ बढाया था मैंने
ऐ काश वो तारा मिल जाता!






ek kinara, ek lehar
ek hi maajhi mil jata
haath badhaya tha maine
aey kaash woh taara mil jata

door nahi hai woh mujhse
mujhko ab bhi dikhta hai
pa leta usko main shayad
jo koi badhava mil jaata
haath badhaya tha maine
aey kaash woh taara mil jaata!

thaa khaali hi jab ghar mera
thee khaali khaali har manzil
ek nagar, aur ek dagar
kaise 'raahi' thham jaata
haath badhaya tha maine

aey kaash woh taara mil jaata!

hun awara main toh kya
woh taara bhi aawara hai
jis shab-e-mehfil mein main baithun
woh mujhpe hanse aa jaata
haath badhaya tha maine
aey kaash woh taara mil jaata!

bachpan mein thee baat suni
woh tara har shab girta hai
mil jaata jo saath tera
tere daaman mein gir jaata
woh taara mujhko mil jaata
tere daaman mein gir jaata
woh taara mujhko mil jaata.

haath badhaya tha maine
aey kaash woh taara mil jaata!

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Tu kaun hai Main Kaun hun! :)

"How can someone live this way? I don't know when will you learn to live properly. This attitude of yours is the cause of half my problems. Don't know where you heading to?"

A big pause. Stubborn Silence.

"Are you listening? Or am I just shouting to the walls? Do you even consider me something? Only God knows where you gonna go."

Again a big silence. No movement. Time has come to a standstill it seemed.

"What is God? .. Mom?", uttered Ramesh in a hesitant but clear voice.

" I can not figure out what is wrong with you, beta.", spoke Parvati lowering her voice. Her emotions changed from anger to mixed bag of concern and frustration. 
She has tought her son all the prayers and made him perform all the rituals which a Brahmin boy should do. Parvati was a married, Brahmin lady in the early fifties. Ramesh was her younger son. Her elder son, Nitin was out of India, working in USA. Ramesh, nine years younger to Nitin just got graduated in 6 years.Hetook six years for a three year course.  Umashankar, Ramesh's father worked in a government bank on a good post in the not so busy city of Jabalpur. He had eight years to retirement and this was his prime concern. Parvati has taken a lot of care of Ramesh after Nitin left for America for his masters and then never came back. He sent money regularly though as  his duty. Parvati could be considered an idle mother and wife.

"I know who is God, Maa. I know very well.", said Ramesh assertively. " I've been hearing and reading this for years. Ram, Krishna, Hanumanji , Deviji. They are Gods.", he stamped again.

Wrinkles started to draw things on Parvati's forehead. She was about to say something when Ramesh probed, "But what is God? These are just names. Aren't we just are blindly bounded just by a name. What ever the name is, more essentially we do not know what God is? Do you know mom?".
Parvati disgusted yet again by Ramesh's behaviour and attitude didn't answer and moved away to her room. She was tensed again. The barometer must have been oscillating if it were embedded to Parvati.

Ramesh has graduated this year only. He took six years to graduate for three years course. He was considered weak and not well. Umashankar loved him very much. He took him to the psychiatrists, doctors, councellors, pandits and so on. Nothing worked for him.
Ramesh was always given example of his elder brother, Nitin. He topped in his Masters in Illinois.Ramesh though seemed only interested in listening what he meant to and all other time he was like a wall.
Thus, a favourite phrase which Umashankar used to say to Parvati all the time, " Deewaron ke bhi kaan hain, par saabzahde ke nahin." (There are walls to ears, but he doesn;t have one.)

Yet another day, a chilly morning turned into warm noon. Ramesh still asleep. "When will you learn to wake up on time and offer your prayers." shouted Parvati. Ramesh didn't respond as usual. Parvati entered his room and argued to the silence of Ramesh " There are rules. This house is no Dharamshala. There are some rules and everyone needs to follow them. " Ramesh still acted as if nothing happened and slept. "You have worst friends I;ve ever seen a boy of a Manager make. You are friends with Chai walas, Paan walas, Auto walas and jhuggi people. They are the ones who are spoiling you. You don't offer prayers. Tumhe apne maa baap ki koi fikr nahi hai. Papa retire ho jayegnge tab kya karoge. Nitin ko dekho. Woh kahan se kahan pahunch gaya.", said frustrated Parvati in a voice which was cracking due to irritation and illness.
"Rules matlab aapke hisaab se jeene lagun kya? Kitabon mein likha hai ki subah uthkar haath jodo Raamji ke toh zaroori hai kya aisa karo. ", finally Ramesh responded.
He got up. " I woke up till late. So couldn't get up.", clarified Ramesh. " You do everything reverse. You people sleep in day. Devils do that. You know what our  ... " started Parvati. Ramesh didn't care to listen as if this was just an activity that Parvati would do and he just opened his diary and started writing something.
"They were not fools. Our hairs have not grown gray in light. We say from experience. If you don't listen to your elders.." continued Parvati in frustration.

"Enough Maa.  Ab bus karo. Aur bolne ka matlab nahi hai . Aap apne hisaab se jeete ho. Kisi aur ke nahi . Aap ke badon ne kaha. Aapko laga maan na chahiye toh aapne maana. Mujhe jo  lagta hai maanunga main, warna nahi maanunga."  yelled Ramesh back at her old mother.
She wasn't the one who would give up. After all she had fought all those years to bring up Ramesh and Nitin scrificing all her dreams and desires. " Bade ho gaye ho toh kuch kamana shuru kyun nahi karte. Duniya dekho kahan se kahan pahunch gayi hai aur tumhe computer chalana bhi nahi aata. Tumhare karan hum kuch nahi kar paate. Tumhare papa aur main dukhi hi upar chale jayenge. Tumhare karan." she said. Ramesh responded saying "  mere karan nahi apne karan. Apka nazariya hi tay karta hai khushi ya gham. Jo bhi hai mujhe doshi mat thehrao and jeena mat sikhao. Main jaanta hun mujhe kya karna hai." 
Parvati really got hurt by Ramesh's answer and responded with tear filled eyes and cracking voice "  Tum paida hote marjate toh achcha hota. Aisi aulad hone se na hona behtar hai. pata nahi kya beemari hai tumhe. dimaag nahi chalta tumhara. logon ne kaha pagal hai beta . Par main nahi maani. Meri hi ghalati thee.. "  Ramesh got up, ate a banana  and moved out , starting his bike. Finally some peace was restored. The conversation ended.


Twelve years passed since then. Umashankar retired from the service. He took some guest lectures in local colleges and got handsome pension. Nitin was back from USA. The family moved from Jabalpur to Bangalore.
Parvati was sitting in the Varandah of her big house in posh colony of Bangalore. It was evident that she was not happy. She rested and rested her head back on the top of the long armed British style old chair. She remembered the arguement which she had with Ramesh. As if a movie played right in front of her eyes. Everything flashed in her mind. ".... maani. Meri hi ghalati thee...". Then she remembered the day after the fight. She found Ramesh's diary in his room. She opened it. The first page had her sketch. She never knew her son could draw. She moved on and she read through it.

" o zindagi, is dil tale, sawal hain kayi unsune,
  jawab tere pass hain, par waqt ki darkaar hai
  ek lamha bhi mile, tujhse main ye poochlun
       tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
       tu kaun hai, main kaun hun.

koi kya sikhayega, koi kya batayega
kya kitabon ka likha, koi saath lekar jayega
ik kadam jo tu chale, tere saath main chalun
tere saath se main seekh lun
saath chalte chalte seekh lun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun
tu kaun hai, main kaun hun

azad ho jayega, sab dard se bach jayega
ek se hain dekhlo, koi khushi koi gam ho
koi bhi ehsaas ho, tujhse meri guftagoo
dard se bhi seekhlun
main hansi se seekhlun
tu kaun hia main kaun hun
tu kaun hai main kaun hun.

...


...


"
  and many such poems which he was poet of.  Last page of the diary had her picture. She thought, her son did not love her. He never expressed. Beneath the picture was written, " Mom With your Blessings, I will be able to establish a School of Freedom."

As she remembered further, phone rang. "Radhe Krishna , Radhe Shyam... " her ringtone indicated well enough her devotion to the Lord Krishna.
A peaceful deep voice on the phone asked her, " Is this Mrs. Parvati ?"
"Yes, speaking. Who is this? ", she replied.
"Mohsin. I am calling from Mumbai slums." the person other side of the phone said.
"Ok. How do you know me? ", she felt something about Ramesh while saying this.
"I .." Mohsin was speaking when she interrupted.
"Is this about Ramesh. My son. Is there any news about him ", she said.

The phone got disconnected.  Ramesh had left home the next day of the spat with his mother. He never came back. Parvati searched, Umashankar searched. They both went through a bad bad phase, and finally Nitin had to come to India.

" Radhe Krishna... ", the phone rang again. It was from the same number. She hurrily accepted the call and spoke " Hello ".
" Ramesh ... Ramesh is no more. He died today. If you could please come. Please come to the Mumbai. I will receive you at the airport. Collect tickets at the airport counter.  They are booked."said the person over the phone and disconnected.
Parvati had twinkling tears in her eyes. She silently sat and didn't know how to react. It was so fast. She could not believe. News of her beloved son after twelve years and the news is of his death. She was shocked. But as being a fighter, she collected herself and took the flight to Mumbai.

When she reached at the funeral. She saw a big crowd. A very big crowd. She was surprised.
" Rest in Peace Amir." said a Poster. She asked Mohsin," who is Amir?". "Ramesh.", he said. She silently moved foward and saw Ramesh's deadbody lay on the deathbed made of sandal wood logs. She broke into tears.
Mohsin took out a piece of not and hand it over to Parvati. "He always had this with him. I didn't read it. This is for you. Your name written over it.", he told her very peacefully.
She did not read it then. After all funeral activity she came back to Bangalore. No one questioned her at home. Her integrity was her shield.

She sat on that chair again. She opened the note.It read -

" My dearest Mom.
Life is a teacher. One should learn from it only. I can not teach any one. All learn themselves and life teaches. We need to be free of all bonds. Once we do so we will be happy. Love is not for one. True love is for all. All include people who hate and people who are strangers. This is what I learned from life. To give true love is the purpose of life and its very basis. Love is only true if its for all and free from all bars. If I love someone I shouldn't expect the person to behave in any sort of manner but give love. True love is uncondtional. So it is for all. I did not left you for the fight we had. I already decided to leave that day. You may have found yourself guilty all these years. But you were not responsible. No one is.
I enjoyed my life and I will enjoy my death.
I want to share with you one thing. No one is superior or inferior. Knowledge doesn't hold key to happiness. I don't now how people preach and how other people believe it. I do not have any problem with that though. All men have equal brains. Then how can one teach other and say who is God and how to live. I always wondered. I lived very happy and I will die satisfied. School of Freedom was estabilished by my notes which I wrote as Amir. It does not need any infrastructure. It is constructed in mind. Freedom is the basis of love.
I love you, maa. I know Maa , the Way I lived wasn't the way you wanted. The world wanted. A psychiatrist said that I have less brain. The world accepted. I was not mentally challenged, but I was different. Maa, what is a doctor?  My answer is one who learns what is set as standard by majority of people in the world and is considered to be normal. How can a human decide for other human if he is normal or not? I always thought this Maa. I know its all Messed up Maa, but whats the problem?
What is God? We don't know. No one knows. Still we are bounded by that name.  Freedom is curbed on that name. To know God true love is needed. I tried and failed. I will keep trying.
At last I will like to shara a poetry written by Javed Akhtar,which influenced my life and thoughts initially when I was at home.

 phirte hain kabse dar badar ab is nagar ab us nagar

 ek doosre ke humsafar main aur meri aawargii
 na ashna har rehguzar na mehrban har ek nazar
 jayen to ab jayen kidhar main aur meri aawargii

 hum bhi kabhi aabad the aise kahan barbaad the
 befikr the aazad the masrur the dilshad the
 woh chaal aisi chal gaya hum bujh gaye dill jal gaya
 nikle jala ke apna ghar main aur meri aawargii

jeena bahut aasan tha ek shaks ka ehsaan tha
 humko bhi ek armaan tha jo khwab ka saaman tha
ab khwab hai na aarzoo armaan hai na justzoo
yun bhi chalo khush hai magar main aur meri aawargii.

..

..


..



Love

Ramesh (Amir)
"

..........................................................................................

PS:  Ignore typing , grammatical mistakes. I am half asleep writing this. :)

Monday, 29 March 2010

खो गया मैं फिर कहीं/ Kho gaya Main phir kaheen/

ये है मेरी उलझन, कोई भी न वाईज,
की वुजू नापाक-ए-दिल, काफिर तो क्या नमाज़ क्या !!

मैं भी हूँ इक नाखुदा, तू भी है इक नाखुदा
कर किसी का भी कतल, धर्म क्या जेहाद क्या !!

बँट चुकी साड़ी ज़मीन, सरहदें हैं हर कहीं
अब कौन सा अपना कहूँ, टुकड़ा आसमान का !!

क्या करूँ जवाब दो, ऐ खुदा मेरा साथ दो
खो गया मैं फिर कहीं, तय कौन सा करूँ रास्ता !!

ये है दोराहा, या कोई फरेब 'राही'
रास्ता बस एक है, रास्ता वो प्यार का !!

की वुजू नापके दिल, काफिर तो क्या नमाज़ क्या!

-------------------------------------------------------------

ye hai meri uljhan, koi bhi na waaiiz,
ki wuzu napak dil, kaafir to kya , namaz kya!!

main bhi hun ik nakhuda, tu bhi hai ek nakhuda
kar kisi ka bhi katal, dharm kya jehaad kya!!

bant chuki saari zameen, sarhadein hain har kaheen
ab kaun sa apna kahun, tukda aasmaan ka!!

kya karun jawab do, ae khuda mera saath do
main kho gaya phir kaheen, tay kaun sa karun raasta!!

ye hai doraha, ya koi fareb 'Rahi'
raasta bus ek hai, raasta wo pyar ka!!

ki wuzu napake dil , kaafir to kya namaz kya


 



Sunday, 28 March 2010

मुस्कुराती रहो तुम जान-ए-जहाँ / Muskurate Raho Tum Jaan-e-Jahan

वो तज़रुबे  जो  तुमने  दिए  हैं , आज  लौटाएं  कैसे
मेरे  हर  हाल  के  साथी  हो, एक  सांस  भी  भुलाएं  कैसे!

आज  तनहाह  हो  ये  जानते  हैं, पास  तुम्हारे  आयें  कैसे
ये  फासले  मजबूरियों  के , ये  फासले  मिटायें  कैसे !

तुम्हारी  आँखों  में  देखा  है  मैंने , प्यार  वो  जताएं  कैसे
मुस्कुराती  रहो  तुम  जान-ए-जहाँ,  सोचते  हैं  हसाएं  कैसे .

मुद्दत-ए-इंतज़ार करते हो , मौसम  बहार  का  बुलाएं  कैसे
तुम्हारी सदा दिली का कायल है, तुम्हारे  काबिल  'राही'  आये  कैसे.

वो  तज़रुबे जो तुमने दिए हैं, आज  लौत्यें  कैसे .
 
------------------------------------------------------------------
 
woh tazarube jo tumne diye hain, aaj lautayein kaise
mere har haal ke saathi ho, ek saans bhi bhulayein kaise.

aaj tanhah ho ye jaante hain, pass tumhare ayein kaise
ye faasle majbooriyon ke, ye faasle mitayein kaise.

tumhari aankhon mein dekha hai maine, pyar woh jatayein kaise
muskurati raho tum jaan-e-jahan, sochte hain hasayein kaise.

muddat-e-intezar karte ho , mausam bahar ka bulayein kaise
tumhari sada dili ka kayal hai, tumhare kabil 'Rahi' aaye kaise.

Woh tazarube jo tumne diye hain, aaj lautyein kaise.

Thursday, 25 February 2010

If Sachin is GOD...

If Tendulkar is GOD then what is Federer.. Pele..Best..Woods..Giggs..Anand.?? I wud say they are super GODS!

Yesterday's innings of 200 runs at Roopsingh stadium Gwalior by Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar prompted me to stand and just applause in salutation. The entertainment was superb. The ability shown was tremendous. And we all in the office waited for the moment which came on the last third ball of the ultimate over of Indian ( I call it BCCI's team henceforth.) innings. 200. The first 200 recored in ICC's ODI format of cricket. And that too from a Man who  people say deserved the most. Lara forgotten, Anwar thrashed ( will later on tell why) and all other people subdued. Work stopped for some time. Sweets distributed. And yes what a relief that finally SRT has done it. Today I receive many mails just about one MAN, and now I am prompted to write this post.

Of late I have avoided writing because I felt that expression of feelings is not really needed. It is on our discretion how we feel. We can not make any  body happy and we can not make any one sad. So why express? But I am prompted as I am humane(not compassionate..but meant to be changing actions).

" I have seen GOD. He bats at number four for India." - Matthey Hayden, former member CA cricket team. And most of the cricket lovers and Indian cricket fans agreed, most strongly yesterday only with the above statement and some of 'em told me that yes Sachin is GOD. I too nodded, when I meant, doubt. But does Sachin makes impact on lives who are ending craving of hunger. Or the goverment gives him INR 10 lakhs which could be used for drought hit area near Gwalior. Well later they say they need to take loans!

Amazing is this world But even in sports, people forget very soon the likes of Kapil Dev who helped us get a world cup when we were amatuer in cricket. People forget the likes of Brian Lara who displayed how a person enjoys ball to ball batting. He would have hit a SIX after 196 and got to 200. Even if he would have got out, he wouldn't have regret.

Yes, I accept and I being a fan of SRT for 19+ years now that he is one of greatest sports person. But if he is the best sportsman then what about ROGER FEDERER., TIGER WOODS, M SHUMACHAR  and MOHAMMAD ALI. Well sorry me too forgot few big old names. DHYANCHAND - the great hockey player who was offered by Germany! The Black Perl - PELE and the footballing best - GEORGE BEST from Belfast! Ryan Giggs from ManUtd.

Yes, if at all Sachin is GOD lets accept these people named and many more are Super Gods. !  No one is GOD. They are all Men.

(PS: Indian cricket team based on a region called  India bordered Pakistan, Bangladesh and China and few more countries is so called INDIAN CRICKET TEAM in which GOVT has no say. BCCI is a private organization which controls it. thought the players are of Indian origin, the coach for past 6 years atleast is not Indian, the psychologists, the physiotherapists and so on are non Indians. The dress is manufactured by NIKE - non Indian company. If some player is injured - they have to go out of India (the place of which people are proud to be of their cricket team)to get fit as INDIA doesn't have the infrastructure to get them fine and the list is long - SO what so Indian about this team .
PS: One person yesterday told me that he is happy more for record of Paki player was broken. I was amazed that he sad that. Anwar was a great player and this disrespect is against sports. he was literally thrashed for doing something which was done first time many years back. Even before his GOD Sachin dared to reach near it. Even Sachin apllauded Anwar
PS: These are just my views and don't intend to offend any one )

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

बस चले आना

हमें मोहब्बत है आपसे,
आपकी तबस्सुम से.
ये लबों का हिलना मुस्कुराने के लिए
जैसे कोई जादू हो गम-ए-दिल मिटाने  के लिए.
इसकी खातिर, पेशे खिदमत कुछ भी सरकार करेंगे
वक़्त जो  आपने माँगा है , बहुत थोड़ा है
उम्र भर हम आपका इंतज़ार करेंगे.
बस आना कभी जो आप तो यूँ ही आना
लब सिले न हों, गम कोई न हो
मुस्कराहट का मरहम हो, इस दिल के लिए
वो जादू जो तबस्सुम का , उसे लेते आना !
राह-ए-उम्र पड़ी है 'राही' का सफ़र
जब आपकी मर्ज़ी हो बस चले आना!

Meristan mein baharistani (Baharistanis in Meristan)

All the characters and ares used in this story are fictious and carry no resemblance with some one. If there is any then it is only a coincidence.
इस कहानी के सभी पात्र काल्पनिक हैं और उनका किसी भी घटना या जगह से कोई लेना देना नहीं है. अगर कोई मेल खता है तोह ये मात्र संजोग है!

"Hit Him! Don't Let him Go! Catch !" , shouted  Meer. They caught hold of a young man. He was around eighteen years of age. Smart  and educated boy. They started beating him. After he was bashed up, he lay on the street not in the condition of getting up. He thought bewildered "why" ?

Hi, I am Tarun. I was the young man in the above story. Now I am an old man. Old enough, that I don't need to introduce my self to everyone as old. They already know by my gray hair. I was born in Baharistan. I lived my17 years here and went to study in Meristan. Many people used to go then. Some to earn money and others for studies.

After the incident happened I always used to think why did they do that? Why to me ? I did not even know them. I was so hurt and heart broken. My self respect and along me Baharistan's self respect called and defamed the incident judging the persons who hit me criminals and Meristan a place which is unsafe and hostile. I wanted those guys to get punished. I never ever had hit any body there. Then Why , i wondered.

The incidents grew. Baharistanis in Meristan and vice versa were not having a good time. I was happy when a Meristani got hit on my land. This continued and relations worsened.

The aftermath of initial incidents was really unfortunate and today when I see back I feel ashamed. Not at my self , not at others and not at my land or outside land, but I feel ashamed at us all as humans. We never tried to get to the core of the reason why all this violence and hatred grew.

Today I realise, we Baharistanis were creating a influence in Meristan which was not in synchronization with their culture. As they did here in Baharistan. We never accepted each other's culture.
We always felt that women were bound to behave in a certain way. One example, like they should not wear short skirts and show off. If they do so our mentallity as per our culture was that yes, she is like this because she wants a guy and so on the young guys talks. They did not like the adulturation in their culture and rarely but they say.

The other way round happened in our land. Then finally the patience and power of tolerance ended. A flurry of violent things stared and the relationships ruined.

I feel guilty for the day I was happy when a Meristani was hit in my land. I feel I should be more of a human than a blind Patriot. It should've been a positive nationalism , which seems to be dying today.
 As I lay on my death bed today I remember all this and think that I am going to meet Meer in the after life. Yes the same Meer who hit me. Yes, the same Meer I killed in revenge of Baharistan's self respect. . . . .


नफरत से क्या हासिल है तुम्हे होने वाला
अरे ओ आग से आग को बुझाने वालों
सागर भरे पड़े हैं,  उसे फैला दो
बड़े बड़े तंज-ओ-गिला कसने वालों
अपने रकीब से मोहब्बत कर लो
अपने ही दोस्त को मिटने वालों
नफरत से क्या हासिल है तुम्हे होने वाला

दिल-ए-गुल कोई खिला लो
ओह गुलिस्तान को मिटने वालों!







Monday, 1 February 2010

GLORY us DAY

Never before I thought that I will be Spending in 5figures amount in a Day just for apparels and things which I like to do. Wooo. I did it and it felt awesome to spend so much in a day. The day was superb. No pressure as such. Only things in mind which pinched were that I had two superb matches to see but NO TV at home.

One the grand final of Australian Open - Roger Federer v Andy Murray! Murray is only one player who has beaten Federer more often than lost. But the glorious form and the calmness of character on crucial points gave the GOD of tennis another Grandslam win. The 16th of all. Wow! What a number that is!  I have really loved to see the graceful, charismatic game of Roger. Alas! I missed the match . No TV and no Cable. :(

Another headturner. Arsenal v ManUtd at the Emirates. As I being a hardcore Manchester United fan, was tensed and partially confident. United's win against the City in the Carling Cup in the last meeting was the positive energy I thought will help us. And yes what a match. Alas again! No TV. I was out shopping hoping to get back in the society and to some friend's house by 9:25p. Couldn't catch up thought. Bought a ManUtd Sweat Shirt in traditional colour of RED. Have waited for it long enough now. Finally got the news, a good news and what a time to buy the tshirt. United 2-0 up. And finally I reached home, and saw the second half.
What a Day I had?

It couldn't have been better. 
I salute Roger Federer again. GLORY GLORY MANUTD.
 (will be back with a new ghazal and some controversial writings tonite :D)

Sunday, 31 January 2010

Ishqiya's Day - Am I one?

Well Ironically to yesterdays fact I was happy to have some money in my pocket as I got my salary.
The morning brought one song in my mind from a Dairy Milk advertisment --
"Pehli Tareeq hai .. aaj Pehli Tareeq hai..khush hai zamaana .... " and so on.  though it was 30th of January. I am a BIG BIG GANDHIJI's follower so kept two minute silence to show  respect to him.  ( Was sleeping in deep sleep) But as I got up I prayed for the Great Soul.

Well a day started at 12:30 afternoon here passed very early and as I lazily got ready had my lunch at around 4 pm in the evening. Finally Ishqiya hit the theatres so FAME was the multiplex name where I went ( I do not intend to publicise FAME here which is already a synonym for Publicised).


Well watching Ishqiya I realised that women always had power in our county and still have them. Was a decent movie though.
Lastly today I have a ghazal to put up written just now. It may also summarise my state of heart - :)

जब से तेरे शहर से लौटे हैं, न कुछ देखा न सुना!
अजीब सी बेक़रारी, जो तू नहीं है यहाँ!!

कू-ब-कू  बदनाम कर रहे हैं , कि मैं न मानूं खुदा!
मैं बस तुझको सोचता हूँ , मुझे कुछ होश कहाँ!!

काफिर न रहूँ 'राही', दरपे तेरी आहट भी सुनूँ !
मस्जिद घर को बना लूँ मैं, तू जो आ जाये यहाँ!!

:-)

Sciensuality!

Yesteray! I have been busy infighting. Infighting in my mind.
The title of this post may be not clear. Its a conflict which I have almost all the hours in my day within myself. Even in my dreams I face this conflict. Its a conflict  within myself between Science(Materialism) and Spirituality(Real Bliss). Well then puttin my thoughts here I gave the title Sciensuality. How relevant is it for you to judge.

For past whole day and night I saw people waiting for Salary. Yes mine was also due. Everybody talking about it. Every body wanting to see a SMS from ICICI bank. Amazingly I wasn't a part of them.

Shouldn't I have been waiting for my first BIG SALARY, when I start my career. But my enthusiasm, energy and curiousity for it was really missing.

I was thining in my mind, how much do these things really make happy. How much does science and spirituality agree. Are they against each other. And yes..

I got an answer from my subconsceince which was very positive one. Yes they agree and its provable. Here goes the idea again. I start writing a paper on this and hope I am able to show the agreement and may be this will atleast end the conflict within me.

PS: I have concealed details and this is just a post for yesterday which I missed so may be detailed version should remain in my diary only :)

Friday, 29 January 2010

Just Another Day

Times gone by. Another day passed. I am getting hungrier. Hungrier for more work. Hunger to Learn exaggerated. Work begun. Worked till late.
The day passed and the day ended. Nothing very special happened. Day just came and gone by very very fast.

:)

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Din-e-Khaas! ( One of special days)

Today was a special day. A day with a lot of happiness. A day which ends with very very good night sleep.

GOT LEAVE
SOME FANTASTIC TIPS FROM BHAIYA
POSITIVE ENERGY
KNOWLEDGE OF SUBJECT
GOOD FOOD
ANOTHER EXPERIENCE
MANCHESTER UNITED BEAT MANCHESTER CITY 3-1 !

and some special feeling  which I may only try to express as -

" पीने तो आया था मैं बस दो प्याले
  तुम्हारे हाथों में कोई जादू है साकी
  कुछ शामें गुज़र गयीं पीते पीते
  अभी तक छलक रहे हैं वो दो प्याले !
  नशा गर  शराब  में  होता
  होश कुछ रोज़ में ही आ जाता
  जन्मों से  उतरा नहीं  है जो साकी
  उतर जाता कि लब तेरे जो मैं छू  जाता  ! "

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Missing her..


As the distance gets bigger the bond gets stronger. Missing her here.
Got to find this excerpt from Javed Akhtar's poetry . Liked it. So sharing it.



मुझको तेरी आवाज़ से खुशबू आती है
और खुशबू में रंग दिखाई देते हैं
तू जब नहीं है तब तू है साथ मेरे
मीलों से छूते हैं तुझको हाथ मेरे
वो जो तेरी साँसों में हैं घुले हुए
कहीं रहूँ वो गीत सुनाई देते हैं
बादल, तितली, कलियाँ, लहरें, फूल, हवा
ये सब तेरे रूप दिखाई देते हैं
मैं हूँ, तेरा नाम है, तेरी बातें हैं
हर पल दोहराता तेरा अफसाना हूँ
मुझको तो अब होश नहीं है
तू ही बता, सब कहते हैं, मैं तेरा दीवाना हूँ !


Nostalgia of Ages!

"Trinnnnnnnnnnnnng"....Snooze......"Trinnnnnnnngggg"...Snooze again..."Trinnnnnnnnggg"  and finally the alarm is switched off. Lights are on. Not switched on now, were left on in the night. Finally half an eye open and a hand moves. It triying to find something. What something? It presses a button. A grey coloured large button embedded into the middle of a big black coloured box. The box is known as COMPUTER.

The computer comes out of sleep mode.  It wakes up and speakers say the 'MS WINDOWS log in ' sound. Sound waves moving through all the obstacles hits the ear drums and mind detects and decodes very few of them (mostly got finished in the way). The nervous system still works faster and one of two eyes is finally open. Mouse searched. WMP started. And here it goes.......

PINK FLOYD
GNR
NIRVANA
AKON
SNOW PATROLS
HINDI MOVIE SONGS
TRANCE
AFRICAN
....
.,..
...
...
..

Playlist started on the speaker with volume on full. Finally I get out of my bed. Working even before I woke up. Ah. How Happy was I?

The day used to start this way, may be four or five years back and yes this continued till six months back.


Now moving the cursor a two years further behind...

A matress lying on the floor with all bedsheets lying haywire. A human lying half on the bed and half on the floor. Fast asleep. Books and Mess all around. Two three diaries. A water bottle without a cap. Half filled. Almirah open. The study lamp on the table left on. Its heat killed few moquitoes and the dead bodies of casualties can be seen on the white A4 papers on the table. There lay a fountain pen, half covered by the cap on those papers.

Suddenly the beep beep beep beep...sound of small analog alarm watch starts to ring. I wake up at once. Swrich the alarm off.  Go to a corner where my Precious , cherished and loved  INR 100 .00 china made radio cum walkman (portable) has been setup. Besides is a stack of magnetic tape audio casettes and few out of it too.
Find my favourite,

BSB

JAGJIT
YES BOSS
BUSTED

...
...
...
...

and play it.
Clean up the room .


Had to wake up to use the older technolgy and start my day. Couldn't work while half asleep. Still did not need any support other than this. How Happy was I?


Once again lets push ourselves back on the 4D.

A neat room. A child well aslept. Everything seems at peace. Every thing in order. A door opens. Mother comes and ask me to wake up. At once I smile and get up. Wow. Drink water. Freshen up. Have a bath. Feel very good. Have breakfast. Now I play some music on TV. What so ever is being broadcasted. Move for my cricket practice. Then school and so on.


This is how my day started around 7 years and before.
I could work until I had my breakfast. Ah? How happy was I?


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I have a laptop. A delicate one. I get up. Can't leave it on whole night. Have to switch it on later. Have to go to office. Get ready. Then by the time. Time to leave for offiice. I leave. I get to hear music on my music playing 4 GB supporting Mobile Phone with better sound. Today my day starts with work in mind and ends with work in mind late night or may be early morning. I have better things around me.

But I am nostalgic. I miss all the three or if more phases and routines.

I miss my audio casettes with only12 songs in them. I miss the sturdy desktop which was always left switched on as if it will never die. I miss the mom's call to wake me up. I miss the lack of technology that was once part of the life and no one complained about it. Everybody was happy with what world was like.

Life has changed...We have moved ahead on the 4th axis. Technology has grown, but has the happiness?

I was equally happy in all those phases and even today. Happiness still is the same. The level is still the same.

Can technology help in making people happy? Making souls happy?  Can't say. But one thing I realise, Happiness is one big purpose behind a life. 

I miss the times where in I was equally happy when things which I have today weren't there. I miss the no technology days. If the HAPPINESS remains the same then why this war for technology and so complicated lifestyles.? its just one of my questions.


PS: Irony of the fact is that I am using one of the modern technology's production to write this blog. (is it to get me happy or release the frustration, which is born of what- left for you to decide).